We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
