Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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