It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
