My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
