Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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