I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's never too late to be topless.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
