Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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