Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
