Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
