Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
