he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
