what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
