I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
