He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
