Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
