i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
