Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
