Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
