You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
