he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
