we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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