I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
