I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
