I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
