I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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