Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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