I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
