bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
