Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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