the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
