Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
