so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
