you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
