Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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