2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
