I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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