haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
