He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
