so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
