angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
