Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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