I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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