I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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