True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
