Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
