Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
