Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
