He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
