please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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