I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
