I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My feet surprised me
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